The Unnecessary Idiocracy

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I hate my luck. Like, yes. I mean, imagine, bunking your class. Using a teacher's name as an excuse. And her catching you red handed! Can anything go any worse? Yep. She catching you while you were trying to sneak out of the detention.

Sneaking. Out. Of. Detention.

And being caught again. Great.

Dead. We were dead.

I swear, in all my years of existing, I had never seen a teacher look this furious. Ms. Vividha's arms were crossed so tightly it looked like she was holding herself back from committing murder. Her glasses had slid down her nose, and she peered at us over the rims, her gaze sharp enough to cut through steel.

"Back. Inside," she said, voice deceptively calm.

Now, I may be a certified ray of sunshine, but I wasn't an idiot. I knew when to argue, and I knew when to shut up and obey. This? This was a shut up and obey moment.

I turned to go back inside.

But, of course, Tejas Sisodia had to be Tejas Sisodia.

"Ma'am," he started, and I swear my soul left my body.

"I just want to say," he continued, "that technically, we weren't running away. We were just stepping out for some... fresh air. You know, mental well-being is important too, right?"

I covered my face. Oh my god, we are actually going to die.

Ms. Vividha's jaw tightened. "Mental well-being? Mr. Sisodia, you will have plenty of time to reflect on your mental well-being in detention for the rest of the week."

Tejas's smirk disappeared. "Wait, what—"

"INSIDE. NOW."

And that was that.

We all shuffled back inside like scolded children, our glorious escape lasting a grand total of two minutes. Niyati was still sitting at her desk, looking at us with an expression that clearly said, I told you so.

Muskaan sighed dramatically. "Well, that was fun while it lasted."

Harsh dropped into his chair and groaned. "I blame Tejas. We were so close!"

Tejas scoffed. "Excuse me, I was trying to reason with her!"

Dakshi rolled her eyes. "Yeah, great reasoning. Now we have a week of detention instead of an hour."

I leaned back in my chair. "Honestly, I blame Harsh. He was the one who started carving stuff on the desk."

Harsh looked personally offended. "How is that my fault? You were the first one to sneak out of the window!"

Before I could respond, Ms. Vividha slammed a book down on the desk, making us all jump.

"Enough," she snapped. "Since you all seem to have so much energy to run around and disrupt class, let's put that energy to good use." She turned to the board and started writing.

Tejas squinted. "What's she—"

The second he read it, he groaned.

"One hundred equations to solve."

I felt my soul shrivel.

Muskaan gasped, horror written all over her face. "Ma'am, this is child labor!"

Ms. Vividha smiled sweetly. "Oh? Would you like to make it two hundred?"

Muskaan shut up immediately.

I sighed and picked up my pen. So much for adventure.

Harsh leaned over and whispered, "Next time, we bring backup."

I smirked. "Next time, we don't get caught."

And just like that, another legendary day of our school life continued.

The silence in the classroom was deafening. The only sound was the relentless scratch of pens against paper, as we scribbled down the cursed one hundred equations that Ms. Vividha had so graciously blessed us with.

I stole a glance at the others.

Tejas had his head propped on one hand, looking two seconds away from throwing himself out of the window. Harsh had already given up and was absentmindedly tapping his pen against his notebook. Muskaan was fake crying as she wrote, sniffling dramatically like she had just been sentenced to life in prison.

Dakshi? She was poking at her notebook with the same enthusiasm as someone stabbing a dead body.

And Niyati... well, Niyati was actually solving the equations.

I nudged her with my elbow. "Boring."

She didn't look up. "Some of us actually care about our grades."

Muskaan leaned over. "You mean you actually care about grades. The rest of us are just trying to survive."

Tejas grumbled. "I swear, this is a human rights violation."

"Exactly!" Muskaan nodded vigorously. "I say we file a formal complaint."

Dakshi sighed. "You do realise we were the ones who ran out of class first, right?"

Harsh leaned back in his chair. "Technicality."

Just then, Ms. Vividha turned to us with her signature glare. "Mr. Agarwal, do you have something to share with the entire class?"

Harsh, being Harsh, grinned. "Yes, ma'am. I just wanted to ask if—hypothetically—solving only fifty equations would still count as an accomplishment?"

Ms. Vividha gave him a tight smile. "Hypothetically, Mr. Agarwal, I could double your workload. Would that count as an accomplishment?"

Harsh quickly shut up.

Niyati sighed. "Why am I friends with you people?"

Muskaan wrapped an arm around her. "Because deep down, you love us."

"Debatable," she muttered.

Dakshi suddenly sat up straight. "Wait—what if we get someone else to do the equations for us?"

I blinked. "You mean cheat?"

"Obviously."

Muskaan gasped dramatically. "Dakshi, I never knew you had it in you!"

Dakshi rolled her eyes. "I just refuse to let parametric equations ruin my life."

Tejas snapped his fingers. "We need a nerd. A brilliant one. Someone who will do the work without asking too many questions."

We all turned our heads toward Niyati.

She looked up and immediately shook her head. "No."

Muskaan pouted. "But, Niyaaaaa—"

"No."

Harsh leaned in. "Niyati, think about it. You love solving equations. You live for them. This is your destiny."

She raised an eyebrow. "You think manipulation is going to work on me?"

Tejas smirked. "No. Bribery will."

Niyati narrowed her eyes. "What kind of bribery?"

I smirked. "Whatever you want."

Niyati tapped her chin, pretending to think. Then, she smirked. "Alright. I'll do your equations."

We all cheered.

"But," she added, "each of you owes me a favor."

We all groaned. "Ugh, fine."

Niyati smiled sweetly. "Pleasure doing business with you."

As she pulled out her pen and started working on our equations, I leaned back in my chair and grinned.

This is why you always have a nerd in your friend group.

Only if I had known this was going to be my biggest mistake.

I could have happily solved my parametric that day... But what that favour Niyati asked was? Gosh. I am never ever gonna make deal with nerds.

For the next fifteen minutes, we sat in perfect silence as Niyati the Genius worked her magic. Her pen moved lightning fast across the page, solving equations like her life depended on it. Meanwhile, the rest of us were pretending to write, throwing each other glances, and occasionally making dramatic expressions of suffering.

Muskaan leaned toward me. "I can already see our future."

I raised an eyebrow. "And what's that?"

"Me, a world-famous model, you, probably some stand-up comedian, Dakshi, an award-winning dancer—"

"Of course," Dakshi muttered, flipping her pen in boredom.

Muskaan continued, "—Harsh will become some playboy businessman, Tejas, an arrogant football star, and—"

"Excuse me?" Tejas scoffed. "Arrogant?"

Muskaan ignored him. "—and Niyati, our group's only successful person, will be running a multinational company."

Dakshi nodded solemnly. "True. She will own all of us."

Harsh sighed dramatically. "And we will still be using her to do our math."

Tejas chuckled. "You know what? I accept my fate."

"Same," I added.

Niyati didn't even look up from her work. "You do realise I'm writing all of this down for later blackmail, right?"

Muskaan gasped. "HOW DARE YOU?"

"I learned from the best," she replied.

Tejas grinned. "She's evolving."

Before we could continue our nonsense, Ms. Vividha suddenly spoke. "Time's up."

The entire class froze.

Muskaan's eyes widened. "WAIT, WHAT?"

Ms. Vividha extended her hand. "Everyone, pass your notebooks forward."

Oh. Shit.

Niyati had only managed to finish three out of the five notebooks.

I locked eyes with Harsh. Harsh locked eyes with Tejas. Tejas locked eyes with Dakshi. Dakshi locked eyes with panic itself.

Muskaan, of course, being Muskaan, immediately jumped to Plan B.

"Ma'am!" she called out.

Ms. Vividha sighed. "What is it now, Ms. Rajput?"

Muskaan put on her sweetest smile. "Actually, I was wondering... does the school provide therapy for students? Because, you see, all this math is really damaging our fragile young minds—"

"Notebook. Now."

Muskaan whimpered. "I tried, guys."

One by one, we handed in our half-finished notebooks, praying to every god that Ms. Vividha wouldn't flip through them immediately.

Unfortunately, fate had other plans.

She picked up my notebook first.

She flipped through the pages. Then she stopped.

I gulped.

The whole class watched in terrified silence as she slowly raised her head, looking directly into my soul.

"Mr. Khurana," she said slowly.

"Yes, ma'am?" I squeaked.

"Care to explain why your answers are written in Niyati Thakur's handwriting?"

The silence in the room was so deep that I could hear my own heartbeat.

Then, Harsh did the most Harsh thing ever.

He snorted.

Loudly.

Ms. Vividha's eyebrow twitched.

"Mr. Agarwal. OUT."

Harsh immediately stood up and saluted. "Yes, ma'am!"

Then, Muskaan—who clearly had a death wish—also snorted.

"Ms. Rajput. OUT."

Muskaan gasped in betrayal. "WHAT? Why me?"

Ms. Vividha didn't even bother answering. She just pointed at the door.

One by one, all of us were thrown out.

We stood in the corridor, looking at each other.

Then, Tejas sighed. "At least we're together."

Harsh smirked. "Group detention?"

Muskaan groaned. "Group death sentence, more like."

I turned to Niyati, who hadn't been kicked out. She was standing at the classroom door, looking down at us like some goddess of justice.

Dakshi put her hands together. "Niyati, our savior, our light, our—"

"No." She smirked. "You guys are on your own."

And with that, she walked back into the classroom.

We all turned to look at each other.

Muskaan shook her head. "Betrayal."

Tejas sighed. "Next time, we run faster."

So, there we were. Officially exiled from Ms. Vividha's class, standing in the middle of the empty corridor like a bunch of criminals.

Muskaan sighed dramatically. "This is it. This is where our academic careers end."

Harsh patted her shoulder. "Don't worry, Muskaan. When we fail our finals and become jobless, we'll start a reality show—'Surviving Ms. Vividha.'"

Tejas nodded solemnly. "I'd watch that."

Dakshi groaned. "I cannot believe I got kicked out of class twice in a single day."

Muskaan grinned. "That's called character development."

"That's called bad decision-making," Niyati's voice interrupted from behind.

We all turned to see her standing in the doorway, smugness radiating off her like a damn halo.

Harsh narrowed his eyes. "Traitor."

Niyati smirked. "Excuse me for not wanting detention."

"Wow," Muskaan put a hand on her chest. "So much loyalty in this friendship."

"Anyways," Tejas cut in. "The real question is—what do we do now?"

I looked around. The corridor was empty. No teachers. No students. Just us, standing there like a bunch of misfits.

Then, Harsh's eyes sparkled. The exact same way they did before he came up with stupid ideas.

"I have a plan," he announced.

Dakshi deadpanned. "No."

Muskaan grinned. "Yes."

I sighed. "Harsh, whatever your plan is, the answer is probably no."

Harsh smirked. "Oh, come on. Where's your sense of adventure?"

"Locked away with my self-preservation instinct," I muttered.

Harsh ignored me. "Alright, listen up. If we're already out of class, we might as well make the most of it."

Muskaan raised an eyebrow. "I like where this is going."

"Let's sneak into the cafeteria and get something to eat."

A beat of silence.

Tejas blinked. "Are you serious?"

Harsh spread his arms. "Why not? Lunch break is in twenty minutes anyway. We just... start early!"

Dakshi facepalmed. "This is your big plan? Risking our lives for cafeteria food?"

Muskaan gasped. "How dare you? The samosas deserve respect."

I sighed. "Okay, let's just think for a second—"

Harsh cut me off. "That's exactly your problem, Armaan. You think too much."

"Excuse me for having common sense."

Harsh grinned. "Let's go, before a teacher catches us."

And just like that, we were following the dumbest plan in history.

We tiptoed through the hallway like absolute fools. Muskaan was humming the Mission Impossible theme, Dakshi was muttering prayers, and Harsh was leading the way like he was some sort of criminal mastermind.

Tejas, being the Captain Ego he was, looked way too confident for someone about to commit school-level trespassing.

Just as we reached the cafeteria doors, I held up a hand. "Wait. What if it's locked?"

Tejas scoffed. "This is a school, Armaan. Not a bank vault."

Harsh confidently pushed the door—

It didn't budge.

Harsh blinked.

Dakshi smirked. "You were saying?"

Muskaan frowned. "Maybe push harder?"

Harsh slammed his shoulder into it. Still locked.

Tejas sighed. "Amateurs." Then, to our absolute horror, he reached into his pocket, pulled out a random key, and stuck it into the lock.

Muskaan gasped. "YOU HAVE A KEY TO THE CAFETERIA!?"

Tejas grinned. "I am the school football captain."

Dakshi crossed her arms. "And that somehow gives you access to food?"

Tejas shrugged. "Connections, Rathore. Connections."

With a soft click, the door unlocked.

Muskaan clapped her hands. "Best. Day. Ever."

We rushed inside like we had just broken into Fort Knox. The cafeteria was empty, except for the smell of fresh samosas and an unattended counter full of snacks.

Harsh grinned. "Alright, grab whatever you want, and we'll be out of here before anyone notices."

We scattered. Muskaan grabbed a plate of samosas. Tejas stole a coke from the fridge. Dakshi picked up a muffin like she was committing a murder.

I, being the only sane person, hesitated. "Guys, this is a bad idea."

Harsh patted my shoulder. "Dude, we already got kicked out of class. What's the worst that can—"

"OI!"

We all froze.

At the cafeteria entrance stood Mr. Bhardwaj. Our disciplinary teacher.

A man who did not believe in second chances.

Tejas immediately dropped the coke. Muskaan almost choked on her samosa. Harsh whispered, "Run."

And then—

We bolted.

Armaan's POV

We ran for our lives.

Muskaan, with a half-eaten samosa in her mouth, sprinted like she was being chased by a serial killer. Harsh, the genius who started this whole thing, was laughing as he ran. Tejas, Mr. I-Have-Connections, was somehow faster than all of us, despite technically being the biggest criminal here.

And Dakshi?

Well, Dakshi was screaming. Not in fear. Not in panic. Just screaming.

"WHY AM I EVEN RUNNING?!" she yelled mid-sprint. "WE'RE ALREADY EXPELLED!"

"We're not expelled yet!" Harsh corrected, grinning.

"WE WILL BE IN FIVE MINUTES!"

"Shut up and run!" Muskaan yelled, shoving a samosa into her pocket like it was gold.

Behind us, Mr. Bhardwaj's voice boomed through the hallway. "STOP RIGHT THERE!"

Yeah, no thanks.

We took a sharp turn, almost colliding with the science lab door. Harsh yanked it open, and we all dived inside like it was some sort of escape room.

Tejas slammed the door shut behind us.

Panting, I whispered, "We're dead."

Muskaan slid to the floor. "I regret nothing."

Dakshi wiped imaginary sweat off her forehead. "We're going to jail."

Tejas, the criminal mastermind, smirked. "Relax. Bhardwaj won't check here. He probably thinks we ran to the playground or something."

Harsh grinned. "See? Told you guys this would be fun."

I glared at him. "Fun? We're trapped in a lab like rats."

"And whose fault is that?" Dakshi deadpanned, crossing her arms.

"Yours," Harsh and Tejas said simultaneously.

Dakshi threw a pencil at them.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "Okay. What's the plan? We can't stay here forever."

Muskaan peeked out the tiny lab window. "Bhardwaj is still in the hallway. And he looks pissed."

"Of course he's pissed," I muttered. "We just robbed the cafeteria and ran like criminals."

Harsh smirked. "I prefer the term 'strategic withdrawal'."

Dakshi rolled her eyes. "Well, Mr. Strategic Withdrawal, how do we withdraw from this mess?"

There was silence.

Then, Tejas clapped his hands. "I have an idea."

Muskaan raised an eyebrow. "Is it a good idea or a Tejas idea?"

He ignored her. "Listen, we can't leave together. It'll look suspicious. We have to split up."

"Split up?" I repeated. "Oh great, because that always works in horror movies."

"Stop being dramatic." Tejas waved a hand. "Here's what we'll do—Muskaan and Harsh, you leave first. Pretend you were in the washroom. Dakshi and I will leave next. Armaan, you go last."

I frowned. "Why do I have to go last?"

"Because you look the least suspicious," Tejas said simply. "If a teacher sees you, they'll believe whatever excuse you make."

I hated that he had a point.

Muskaan and Harsh exchanged a glance. Then, Muskaan shrugged. "Alright, let's do it."

She and Harsh slinked out of the lab like two spies on a mission.

A few minutes later, Tejas and Dakshi followed, walking as casually as possible.

Now, it was just me.

I took a deep breath.

Okay. Just act normal.

I adjusted my bag, opened the door, and stepped out—

—Right into Mr. Bhardwaj.

Oh.

Crap.

His sharp eyes narrowed. "Mr. Khurana."

I gave him my best innocent smile. "Good afternoon, sir."

He folded his arms. "Why were you in the science lab alone?"

Think, Armaan, think.

I scratched the back of my head, forcing a sheepish chuckle. "Uh... I, um, lost my notebook. Thought I left it in the lab."

Mr. Bhardwaj stared at me.

I could feel sweat forming on my forehead.

Then, he sighed. "You better not be lying, Khurana."

I nodded quickly. "Of course not, sir!"

Another long pause.

Then, finally, he waved a hand. "Go."

I didn't hesitate. I walked away as calmly as possible, but internally?

I was screaming.

As soon as I turned the corner, I bolted.

When I reached the playground, the others were already there, waiting.

Harsh grinned. "Survived?"

I glared at him. "Barely."

Muskaan high-fived me. "Well done, soldier. The Great Cafeteria Heist of the Year? Successful."

Dakshi shook her head. "We are never doing that again."

Harsh smirked. "Wanna bet?"

I groaned.

This wasn't over.

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